1) Monopoly

2) Risk

3) Scrabble

@ Blob

#3 Scrabble

Other than Risk, Scrabble really is the “I’m Better Than You” game of our lifetime (and many before us), making it a mainstay of every “Best of…” conversation you can have about Board Games. Think you’re going to strategically block that Triple-Word Score?? Not when I combo “Xi”, “Zits”, “Ai” and “Za” for a whopping 225 pts.! Seriously though, let me take this opportunity to say that Facebook Scrabble clearly ruined this game for the rest of eternity. Nobody should be able to throw down the aforementioned two-letter words or something like “Vug” and be able to legitimize it with the highly questionable (yes, I said it) Scrabble Dictionary. Bullcrap, I tell ya!

#2 Risk

I can’t even think about this game without getting my undies in a bunch, in both good & bad ways. On one hand there is nothing like out-smarting your opponent with a completely randomized mode of attack like Dice.. Conversely, it is absolutely heart-wrenching to have 20 of your troops succumb to an army of 3 because you just can’t catch a break. Still, I love the degree of manipulation that occurs in every 6-hour saga that is sure to ensue during a game of Risk. “What are you attacking me in Brazil for?! You really want her to win?! She’s clearly going to attack you form the other side if you do that! Ahhh, World Domination is awesome. Just don’t fucking knock me out. Ever.

#1 Monopoly

Here it is: The grandpappy of all Board Games. I love Monopoly for a lot of the same reasons that I dig Risk: once the properties begin taking shape there are always some twisted ways to go on with the game. I, for one, prefer to strike deals that will clearly upset somebody else and then make it up to them by doing something like giving them a free night’s stay at Marvin Gardens or North Carolina Avenue. “Oh, you don’t want to give up that Railroad?? Well how was your stay last night? Was the bed comfy enough for you? It’s actually a miracle if somebody doesn’t flip the board playing with me.. But I guess that’s just what Monopoly does to you!

Your Thoughts?

1) Zelda

2) Final Fantasy

3) Metroid

@ Rick Jeffrey

Right, so… I realized as I thought about this that whatever list I came up with would automatically be dismissed by almost everyone who reads it. Classic NES is quite possibly the greatest video game system of all time and everyone has their favorites. Also, the nostalgia factor is HUGE here. Try telling anyone who grew up in the 80’s that Labyrinth and The Goonies were both awful movies and see how long it takes for you to get the shit beaten out of you. If I made a list of the top 3 Juicy Juice flavors I would expect to see the same kind of controversy.

So DuckhuntFan69, this one goes out to you. Please don’t mail me a human head just because Spy Hunter isn’t on my goddamn list. All that being said here is my list of the Top 3 NES Games.

#3 Metroid

Metroid was the first game I ever owned. It is also the first game that made me take a video game controller and try to embed it into my living room wall. It had everything. You got new powers as you went along (who didn’t love being able to freeze enemies in place and then roll into a ball and bomb the hell out of them?) and the final boss was a giant brain. Last but not least, at the end of the game you found out that you were actually a chick the whole time. Thanks for causing massive amounts of gender confusion to an entire generation, Samus Aran.

#2 Final Fantasy

Released in mid 1990, this game was a last ditch attempt by a then-bankrupt Squaresoft to go out in one last blaze of glory, hence Final Fantasy. And it worked. Imagine a bomb going off in a major U.S. city. Except instead of a bomb it’s a fantasy role-playing adventure the likes of which had never been seen. And instead of a major U.S. city it’s actually your goddamned living room. Seriously, this is the game that created a market for the RPG in the United States. It had a badass story, magic, addictive turn-based gameplay, and it started one of the most popular video game franchises of all time.

#1 Zelda

Cmon. Do it. I fucking dare you to argue with me on this one. You knew as soon as you popped in that gold cartridge that shit was about to get awesome. From the music that you just had to hum along with, to the amazing boss battles, to the heart beat-bleep that signaled you needed to eat a faerie or die, this game owned everything. Sure there were times when you got so pissed at those armor plated baddies that you bitch-slapped your brother while wearing a Power Glove, but it didn’t matter. You were right back to playing 10 mins later. Contra, Mario, Castlevania? This game eats them up, drinks a double espresso and farts them out after. This was the greatest NES game of all time.

Your Thoughts?